Let’s get the straight to the point – I made a mistake, I missed a half caught. One of my first tries for Ireland was from half so I know what it’s like to get caught up in the moment, make that mistake as a player and get away with it. So why did I miss it – a fairly simple error that someone of my experience should have spotted? The biggest problem is I think like a player and not like a ref. I’m not officious and I try to let the game flow – okay for training sessions and friendly matches but not ideal for a final I guess. Like it or hate it that’s the way I am, I’m learning and I’m working on it. Why is this relevant? Because I made a choice to let players that should know better play, do their thing and be silly buggers! In the critical phase of play there were 3 off the ball incidents that I could have, and probably should have, blown up and penalised. Pulling on the arms of defenders, running blocking lines, obstruction – I saw it guys. Rather than be a referee and stop the game I acted like a player, kept an eye on it to make sure it didn’t get out of hand or interfere too much with the flow of the game. It backfired on me as it did interfere, indirectly – whilst I was watching that I missed the half caught call!
I looked over to my side line official but all I could see was a crowd of people jumping around, gesticulating and screaming – making it impossible to make out my assistant. Maybe I should have stopped the game to consult, like a referee should. Again this was my choice to allow the game to flow – I didn’t see it, I couldn’t call it. The players up to no good in back play were getting on with the game, so did I. A couple of plays later the try was scored, drop off decided, game over, season over, cup won and bring on the abuse!
Now I turn from a bad ref to a massive hypocrite to talk about keeping calm at the end of a match and considering your actions / comments as I am guilty of more than my fair share of inappropriate behaviour and facetious remarks, again I’m learning and changing and now preaching / teaching. When you think you’re venting you are actually attacking, not thinking about what the ‘victim’ may be feeling. Apologies are appreciated and welcome, it’s good when others admit their mistakes, but the solitary one I got did not heal the wounds. My bad (again) as I was feeling low before the game. Others have their families, swarms of children, team mates and friends to turn to for support. For some of us our loved ones and families are spread out over several countries and thousands of miles. I had been looking forward to this night with the Touch family, but went home feeling more alone than I can remember. If anyone felt hard done by or aggrieved after the match I can assure you that nobody left that venue feeling worse than I did.
Time passes, I’m over it, everyone will get over it and we’ll all move on to the next one. Importantly I’ll learn from the experience and I hope others will too. Yes I made a big mistake, I made others too. I interpreted things differently to players, I didn’t see things, I saw some things that I let go. But I was there, with 5 other refs, giving up my Saturday night so you could enjoy yourselves. I believe that, in the main, we did a good job and contributed to an exciting final that went to drop off. Let’s be clear about something – my one missed call did not decide the outcome of the 43 minute game. I did not drop a single ball, throw any bad passes or miss any touches. Both teams played well and could have won it, it wasn’t the fault of any one of the refs that they didn’t. There were 4 teams in action last night, all of which I have played and trained with, many of whom I consider friends and all integral parts of the wonderful Touch community. Thanks to one call and a lot of heightened emotions a community that I, for once, did not feel part of.
